I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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