This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
