I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
