So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
