i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize