Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
