i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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