Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
