I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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