The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
