She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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