I want to stick my p in your. b.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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