Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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