I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
