Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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