She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
they're like a gay fantastic four
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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