If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
