when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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