I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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