i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
