So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
