well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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