can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
