false alarm. still invincible.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
