Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
