U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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