She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Your penis caused this!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
