i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize