On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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