I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
