I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
