I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Randomize
