Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
