i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
