He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
