ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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