i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
