You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
