sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
