Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
