We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
one might say we're banned from that church
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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