I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
