u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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