Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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