two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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