Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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