you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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