We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
