kristin has been a bad kristin
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
