We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
