halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
