I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
