I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Less talking, more tequila
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
