The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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