The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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