Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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