dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
