i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
