it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
